Escape into Imagination

Imagination has always been something that I possessed. From childhood to adult, I've never had trouble creating make believe worlds, adventures, and monsters. When I was young it was simply used as a way to make play more enjoyable. As an adult, it provides a much needed escape from reality.

Reality for me has always looked rather bleak and dark. Life in general for me is quite boring. I work a management job that offers no creative ideals and boils down to nothing but stress and unrealistic expectations. Combine that with having to see how a majority of people live their life on this planet everyday, and you have a bleak, constantly questioned existence.

It is no coincidence that my imagine, which is rather dark, and sometimes epic, mirrors my overall attitude to reality. It's dark because I'm at the point where I'm struggling to see any reason for existence, not mine, just humanities existence overall. It's epic because life is boring. I personally believe that there is no grand plan for our existence, we as individuals, define our existence, and I choose to exist in reality, but live in my imagination.

Reading and writing are my primary escapes, and gaming is my secondary. I read a lot of supernatural horror, weird fiction, and science fiction. My favorite author is, yep you guessed it, H.P. Lovecraft. I discovered H.P. Lovecraft a few years after college while looking through the horror section in my local bookstore while my girlfriend was looking for a book she had been wanting. "Call of Cthulhu" for some reason caught my eye. Now I had heard of Cthulhu before, as any young person who wanders the internet for more than a day, but I never knew much about the monster or the story that features his name. It was only nine bucks, so I bought it. I never looked back after that.

I felt myself fall into a universe where humanity was an accident that just happened to be left alone as some kind of cosmic joke, by beings beyond our meager scope of understanding. Suddenly, my life made sense. It was a cold truth, but it was the truth. Now do I think there are some interdimensional beings that exist out there in the cold depths of space? No. What I got from Lovecraft, was that there is no pre-determined destiny. There is no purpose to our existence other than to exist. In the end, that is our true freedom. We can be anything we want to be in this world. Why worry about what hides in the darkness, when it is our final journey anyway? Enjoy the ride. I personally hope something exists beyond death, I also hope there is a merciful God. I live my life the best way I can, and I try to help people everyday. At times I even pray. After all, I am human, and I'm afraid of death. Until then though, I'm going to be who I want to be. I refuse to live in reality, and instead choose to escape into imagination.